So it's nearly 3 A.M. and I can't sleep, I can never sleep. I have to be totally tanked to pass out which isn't really like sleeping, I know! I'm getting older but I don't think I'm getting any wiser, just better about being stupid. For the last several day's I've been wandering around Los Angeles like some creepy uncle, for no reason other than it's better than sitting in this box sweating my ass off. The weather is hot and it's burning a hole in my soul. Iwant to go swimming, I want to get naked with some chick and pretend I'm seventeen again. Not that my girlfriend would mind, God only knows what she's up to in SF. Fucking 4th of July and while I'm sitting under a tree like some forever alone neckbeard, she's been out living it up can't even get her on the horn. Not that, that means she's up to somethin, but my fucking paranoia takes over in times like these. I may be a high functioning alcoholic but, I am an alcoholic for a reason! I got issues by the tons, I keep them in safe keeping in random blog post and smokey haze of drug and alcohol stupor, but I'm a little lite on the drug part of that equation. So I'm steeped in the boozy end of things which creates a sad flux on my mood. Gotta balance the whiskey with weed, and I can't afford any of my own at the moment. I know I should be okay with going around by myself-this after all is supposed to be the fucking "Kane Off Kung-Fu" world tour, but I don't think I'm cut out for the David Banner lifestyle. I need human interaction, all this walking around just makes me feel like a creep. I mean if I feel like a creepster, then I'm sure I come off as a one to others. All these fucking families, L.A. is more family oriented than SF, and I don't care for it. Last 4th I was tripping, high, and drunk in the park, I was so fucked up that by the time the fireworks started I was done. My gal Friday was passed out and we had to head home where I forgot to even watch them out the window. This year well, I sat under a tree surrounded by families, and kids, and packs of teens annoying the ever loving shit out of me. I think I may be a quite tapestry of self-loathing! I need a pick me up or a joint or something!
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